dark side of the moon

[laci]

well here i am, i've started my journal... the idea hit me one night when i was just sitting in front of the computer, real late at night. couldn't sleep, didn't feel like reading so i was playing minesweeper. i have this real bad addiction. i thought to myself, i need someone to talk to, i just felt incredibly lonely, noone was on trapdoor and i just wanted to speak to someone, and i thought, what if i were to record my thougts in a journal, get rid of that lonely feelin' talk to myself in a way. so i start my journal today.

i'm exhausted, the kids wipe me out everyday, waking up at 5:30, and staying there till 3-4. i so need to sleep in! plus this minesweeper addiction is really getting out of hand. i realized at camp that i'm very slytherin when it comes to any sor of sport. today one of the kids beat me in checkers 5 times and i kept going back, determined to bat (i mean to say beat) him, i'll beat him tmw. so i need to prove myself in minesweeper. 'love lost such a cost' bein listening to lot of Neil Young of late, i lost one of my tapes at Dar, i['ll have to replace it and get Harvest, which they have on DVD-audio, thats a treat.

i talked to my brother on the phone today, he seems to be having a good time in hungary, i'm so happy for him, thing is i won't see him for a while. hes arriving on the same day i leave for college, kinda miss him. there are so many ads for online dating services its driving me mad ('i'm going slightly mad, it finally happened, happened, it finally happened, oh dear..') the world is putting so much pressure on dating and romance. to be single is to be shunned, well thats an exageration, but singlehood (is that a word?) is made to look abnormal.

well, i should read some, maybe Iliad, Heri Kokler, one of the whole bunch laying around, Goodnight, oh yes must remind myself to call Nagyi, and Ivette saturday.

[En Sylvan]

Cheers to looking abnormal!

Welcome to Glenmore. Do you want to permit other people to respond in here?

[laci]

yeah sure, why not.

got a headache right now. i had my head right by the window today on the bus towards rexplex, going on the new jersey turnpike ('counting the cars on the new jersey turnpike, we've all come to look for america')
Every thursday we go on a field trip, and we went to rexplex, this giant sportsarena/arcade/amusement park, whole lots of fun. need to mail my letter tmw for my freind in hungary, its been about 2 weeks since i wrote, now i need to mail it. nothing much going on in my head so i'll stop now, oh yeah, i like thinking about nothing, 'ignorance is bliss'

[laci]

hello, today has been a busy day, did a lot of things, feels good almost. woke up at 10, finally got to sleep in! ;D last night i went and saw Le Divorce with Tamara and her freind. it was an experience, i always like getting lost, i just love the feeling of not knowing where we're going, how we are going to get there, its just taking the whatever crazy whim comes to mind, 'lets make a right, lets make a left' and so forth. on the way back i fell asleep to Phil Collins and the song made me feel kinda bitter. i've grown used to these periodic lulls of bitterness, anger, slight depression. i've grown used to them that when they come, i know they'll pass and they don't mean anything, but i think they do mean something. there is something wrong, maybe i'm in denial, am i happy? am i content with who i am? what will i become? what will college be like hmmm.. lot of questions just buzzing in out of my head . well so i called ivette and my grandmother this morning, i have to do it in the morning, one is 6 hours ahead, the other is 13 hours ahead. i really miss talking to ivette on a regular basis, and i guess i miss her too, we have this great platonic relationship, at least i think we do.. i also called my grandma, make a commitment to call her once a month, she is all by herself and her only family is really just my family, i'm glad i give her joy when i call her but i feel sad for her because she is so lonely. 'no man is an island' so after that i went with my mom to visit one of our church members who just had heart surgery. he is such an nice, warm-hearted man, i pray he gets well soon, so after we came home i thought i'd do a little experiment and observe my cat for 15 straight minutes. it was fascinating. just to watch her reactions, her own observance of passing people, her sad little gaze, every minute or so she would acknowledge me with this look and go back to looking at the street. i would so like to know what she is thinking if she is thinking at all. after that she went into our little garden, and just layed among the peppers doing the same thing, sitting quietely observing everything, even me. i love her so and i'll miss her when i leave. i read more of Heri Kokler, the book is just full of sexual puns, in reality it has nothing to do with hp. hermoine is this sex- crazed mtv girl who plays with a vibrator... heri is also a sex crazed teenager who is a smart aleck, who blackmails the mr and mrs weasley because he hears them at night having sex.. the book is full of these, i don't even know if its worth translating. wow i wrote alot today, off to bed but not before i take a look around glenmore

ps, after editing i realized i really need to work on my composition and writing, and i need a new keyboard

[laci]

hello darkness my old frind, ive come to talk with you again' well got back from Iowa and am still recuperating, it really knocked me out but it was lots of fun. i got to meet Nialle and Jack, see Gen's college, go to Madison, Wisconsin (mmm... cheese and beer ) and come home. i was really sick, with a headache and sore throat, sheesh i missed my mom so much, i can't imagine what i'll do if i get sick at college, probably drop out and come home...

did a whole lot of stuff today, went out and had breakfast with freinds who are leaving, it was good, i'm gonna miss'm, after that went and got an eye doctor appointment, for wednesday, got some t-shirts, matrix, ruruoni kenshin, and LOTR. after that went to record store, must have spent an hour there going through used cds, after going through so much trash i found the Best of Doors, for 8$ ;D. gonna start making a cd for Gen, and burn more Pink Floyd for Jack and then mail it, just need the address, hey 10 more days to college... i'm stopping my eyes are hurting

[laci]

well slowly but surely i have made my way to the computer lab and have sort of start getting back in to the swing of things. so college has started, today ended with freshman orientation and we had our first seminar on discussion in the classroom. i thought it would be a bore, what did i know? i love this school ;D Tomorrow is when i meet with the different clubs and organizations, they have an anime and role-playing club so hopefully i'll be joining that and a soccer game saturday, haha i get to show off my mad skillz. i have gotten to know some cool people so i feel like i'm sort of fitting in i guess, becoming part of the community. i just really hate the feeling of being a freshman again, not knowing anyone, anything. NOT KNOWING WHERE TO SIT AT LUNCH but the food is good , three times a day. so adios, seminar starts in an hour, i'll just get myself ready

[laci]

wow, i'm having so much fun learning, being part of the community here. last night i became the secretary of the maple club which is this Mystery Sceince Theatre 3000 club, and we watched Conan the barbarian with Ahnold, "CROM!" ;D before that we had a three hour lecture on the interpretation of the constitution, mainly dealing with the executive branch and how much power it should have, which is great because of the current administration and its interpretation of how much power it should have.. just went through the first 3 propositions in Euclid's elements, then some greek and some more reading, thing is i look forward to these studying periods, which is rare, looking at high school. the only class i don't know anything about yet is Lab, which i'm kinda scared of, since its nearly 3 hours long oh well, it'll probably be wonderful.

[laci]

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us-don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know

How Dreary to be somebody!
How public like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

Emily Dickinson Untitled

oh man my music collection is growing at an alarming rate, i'm just listening to the new White Stripes, plus i got the 2 Coldplay cds. i have math in about an hour and i still have to go over a proposition. this girl lent me this book of Emily Dickinson poems, and i like her before but i really like this one, sorta reminded me of Octupus's Garden by the Beatles

[En Sylvan]

Psst, laci, come tell us all about the executive branch over at TD when you get a chance... *is drooling with envy at the coolness of these classes and clubs* ...Oh, Emily is awesome, my personal favourite is "I heard a fly buzz when I died" even though it's sort of dreary in tone -- the imagery is amazing. "And then I could not see to see." Yeah. Only, remember to forget that you can sing all of her poems to the Gilligan's Island theme song (and/or "The Yellow Rose of Texas" and/or "Joy to the World"), or you like me will be cursed to sing "Because I could not stop for death / He kindly stopped for me" to a happy silly tune. Bleah. *grin*

[laci]

Crazy little thing called love, Can any body find me somebody tooo love
i'm on somewhat of a Queen craze right now but this is a quick little entry that can't be too long, have a game at 3:30 and after that i have a paper where i have to look at 3 different translations of the Iliad and write a paper on my observations, but everything is sweet, had some freinds from DC come and visit me last night, we had a ball. oh yeah, i think i have just reached a new level of loserdom. friday i lost my room key for the second time and yesterday i lost my keycard, i'm totally dependent on my roommates key and card. how pathetic is that? oh well maybe i can somehow redeem myself on the field today, sorta like Achilles for letting his best friend die and being responsible for sending thousands of brave Achean souls to Hades ;D

psst, En i'll try and start something like that on td right now time isn't really on my side and we all no that 'time waits for no man'

[laci]

so going to bed at 1, after typing up my lab report, getting up at 5:30 for crew and going to a 9 o'clock class where we discussed the the first book of Aristotles, Nature of animals for 2 and a half hours... i don't think i can keep this up, i was going crossed eyed by the end of the class. yeah now i have to go to chorus, so i'm off. i miss doing mindless busy work. the only time i'm not thinking of something is during crew, slow down, you move to fats gotta make the moment last

[laci]

ha! the start of a new week. started with crew at 5:30, so much fun, and then work. i just remember the discussion i used to have with Gen and how i love sleep and food, and she thought they were a waste of time. i totally agree with you now. sleep is just limiting me and my time, and there is so very little time and so much to do. i went to DC over the weekend with a freind from school to visit a highschool freind and show her around town. thing is i really had no idea where i was going, i just thought we'd take a map and be fine.. well its not that simple, but we had a great time, went to art gallery, visited the Vietnam and Korean war memorials, capitol, white house... and so forth. its no fun getting lost in a city by yourself, you gotta have someone there, kinda like the blind leading the blind, but she was the mitfahrer, so it was more like she was leading me, but yeah sunday morning we went to a church service thats held in a movie theatre.. it was an experience, an experience i would not like to have again. its just so stupid how they have to "compete" with hollywood to reach people and make religion something stupid and and not boring. the whole thing is an emotional rollercoaster that is just incredibly shallow. but yeah other then that the trip was a whole lotta fun, now for another week, gotta go finish my Homer and Aristotle reading (i just love saying that ;D)

[Rue]

Oh, Laci, I've been meaning to tell you... You know when you said you lost your key to your room twice and your key card once? We were having a dorm meeting last Monday, and a girl randomly said, "Yo, I dropped my key card in the toilet and then peed on it." You've got it easy.

[laci]

"Let me get lost
I'll drive you around till I run out of gas"

hmm, that does sound very unpleasent, i'm finally getting a hang of things here, slowly but surely. except now i'm really sick, and i still have crew every morning, oh yeah its hardcore, today we had like 2 foot waves, which made it really interesting, but i'm pretty sure i've guaranteed myself a spot on the mens novice 8, at least i'm hoping so. Isabel was awesome, i've never experienced anything like her before, she was wild.. yeah the hurricane was really cool, whole front part of town was under water. i was out till one experiencing the wrath of nature.
well off to seminar, yup.. i'm off.. gotta go... this feels so incomplete.. oh well i'm off.. really i'm off.

[En Sylvan]

Stormwatching! One of my favourite vices....

So how did things come out with the team? And where are you with your various church experiences? I forgot to ask -- are you going with a group or just yourself?