Mind's Eye

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

Ack. I feel really bad for not having been here for so long. Work and IRL stuff kept getting in the way. I thought that maybe when I started my new job working from home I'd have more time to dedicate to TD and here again, but time seems to have kept runing away from me.

I've therefore decided that I'm going to make time for you guys and TD and Glenmore. I've missed being here so much and I've missed all of you. I'm going to try and keep you all updted on what's happening with me as well even if it's only an entry a week. I figure it's better than nothing.

2005.09.08 Bracing for Re-Entry

OK, where do I start?

I'm still living in Hornsby, which is a suburb just outside of Sydney. It's a nice little place. It has a big shopping mall, lots of little parks, and a safeness that lets me take random walks in the middle of the night when I can't sleep without worrying about getting mugged. I really like it here. I think I could even settle down here permanently. It's just a nice, comfortable place that's close enough to all the goodness of the City, quiet enough that it's a place you can feel relaxed, and farenough away from my mother that I only see her for short visits every couple of months.

But I think some of charm lies in the house I live in. It's a slightly older house that definately has a character all it's own. It has nice high ceilings, a massive kitchen and a cosy fireplace in the living room which we've been using all winter to make sure we don't freeze our butts off. It's also got computers in every room of the house except the bathroom and my room. There aren't ay in my room becasue I use my computer for work all the time now and need a place to escape, and I'm certain that the only reason we don't have a computer in the bathroom is because we don't have any power outlets in there. Myself and the other three people I live with all have a thing for computer and computer gaming, so it was inevitable that the house would end up like this. It's cool though, I like it.

I'm also certain the house is haunted. Floor boards contantly creak all on their own, the bathroom door has a thing for opening itself if you forget to lock it and the digital clock in my room likes to reset itself randomly. But it'a all stuff you learn to live with. I still love it.

My new job is, as I mentioned, based at home. I'm working for a small software company here in Australia mainly as a general assistant for the company owners/head developers. It's great! Bruce and Bobbie are the best guys to work for. They've done so much for me since I started with them. I've been pretty busy helping them research stuff and do paper work and small projects that they haven't had time to do because they're looking at expanding very soon. Unfortunately, I'm not actually alowed to talk about what we do because of the NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) I signed when I joined up with them. It's still great to be starting a proper career rather than just waitressing and working in cafes. Hooray for me!

And then of course there is my significant other, Alex. We started seeing each other id January and really hit it off. We both like the same books and hobbies and pastimes, but have enough seperate interests that we never seem to get too much of each other In fact, it always feels the opposite. And best of all, he's British! We just seem to click on so many different levels it's not funny. We have so much fun together and out relationship just seems to have gotten better and better over the last almost eight months. We support each other and we've helped each other overcome obstacles we couldn't get past before. I really wish you could all meet him.

Hmmm... I think that's all for the major update. I'll try to get back here regularly to go into a little more detail about the currents events. Fr now, i really should be getting to bed because I have a work meeting in the morning, and then a day or sorting, categorising and labelling computer parts.

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2005.09.12 No Work And All Play

I don't know what's up with my employers of late, but they just haven't been giving me work. They gave me one task, which was to find finanical info on several software companies if the information was publically available. That was about two and a half weeks ago and I've long finished the task but haven't been given anythign else to do.

Technically this shouldn't bother me because I get paid a salary so am paid whether tey give me work or not, but I feel kinf of guilty sitting at home doing nothing and being paid for it. Unfotunately, because the company has only just started expanding (I'm their first and only employee, everyone else involved in the company are owners or contractors) they don't have all that much for me to do. I feel bad about not doing any work during the time they are paying me to put aside for work, but I can't do any if they don't give me any. *sigh*

In other news the PSP phenomenon seems to have gripped the household I live in. Both Alex and Rohan have bought one and every spare waing moment is spent playing them. I have to admit, it's the first time Rohan has been going out of the house to do anythng enthusiastically sicne he quit his job, but I'd far prefer it if he were using all that energy to get out of the house to find himself a job, rather than waiting for people he knows to ask him to do something for them and pay him for it. I've really had enough of saying "I can only put about $30 - $40 toward food this week," and then finding he's eaten almost half of the fortnightly shop I did for four people before the first week is over.

It doesn't help that Stips doesn't have a job at the moment either and that she's living off the money she had stored up. Apparently she had over three months worth of living expenses stored up when she quit, but that was about two months ago and she still hasn't bothered to make an effort to look or any sort of work. Ive been thinking it may have to come to me and Alex walking out on them to make them snap out of it. No soemthing I want to have to do, but I'm having troubel seeing any other alternative.

I've been tapping into my creative side again this week. I've started drawing again. I've been fooling aroudn with drawing some of my pen and paper RPG characters, namely from Vampire. It's been ots of fun. If I can get to the scanner in this house and scan a few of them in I'll post them up. But that is kept in Rohan's room. Blah.

Anyway, it's Alex's day off work and I think he had plans for us for today, so I better go and find out what they were. I hope there's an evening walk involved because the last few days has seen the beginings of Spring and the weather is gorgeous. I can smell it everywhere. It's great. It makesme feel al warm and tingley and alive.

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2005.10.04 Patching Update...

So I realised just now that I havn't posted in this in almost a month, which defeats the purpose of me starting this up again: to keep those here who are interested updated on how my life is going. So here I am.

Let's see...

A few weeks ago I was considering moving out of here because one of my housemates was really pissing me off. He was inviting people around without asking anyone else if they had plans, kept moving furniture around when I'd clean the place up, and was basically having me feed him because I was doing the majority of the shopping and he wasn't giving me any money to cover his share of the food he was eating (he eats the equivalent of two people, and is thinner than Kate Moss). I was sick of it. But I did end up talking to him about it and telling him the positon it was putting me both emotionally and financially and we seem to have worked things out now. He's at least giving me warning if people are coming over, and is giving me money toward food. Things at home have settled down.

Alex has been extra affectionate of late, using every oppurtunity it seems to give me a kiss or a hug or to poke me or tickle me in fun. It's been really great. Actually, it's been more than great. I've been feeling a little uncomfortable about myself of late because I've put on a fair bit of weight. The putting on weight doesn't bother me, it's the fact I've put on almost 10 kg in the last 4 or so months that bothers me. I know it's because I have to rely on my medication to keep my metabolism going and to maintain my body weight, and that it really isn't reliable, but still... 10 kg in about 4 months is enough to make anyone feel a little conscious about their weight and how they look. BUt Alex has been really supportive and has had me thinking about it alot less than I probably normally would. I love him so much for that and everything else he does to make me feel special, happy and loved. I only hope I'm showing him enough love and affection in return.

After much waiting, I was given as task from work on Friday. They want me to learn to program in Visual Basic 6. They're going to be paying for me to go to college next semester to do a course in it, and in the mean time are wanting me to at least learn the basics. So they gave me a small task, knowing that I've never really done programming before, and that it would likely take me at the very least a week to find what I needed in the books they gave me to start doing to coding. I didn't work on it at all during the weekend because we had a friend over that's only going to be in Sydney till Thursday, so I didn't start working on finding what I needed until a little before lunch time Monday. Monday evening I was email the finished project off to me employers so they could tell me how I did, and today get told I exceeded requirements and gave myself a head start on the next part of the project. It's weird, because I was always under the impression that I'd be really bad at programming because I never did exceptionally well at maths in High School. It's seems, however, that I should have gotten myself into the IT industry a long time ago. I just seem to have a knack everything I'm being given to do and I love it. I'm actually getting to think rather than doing repeataive tasks over and over. I'm finally really doing something I enjoy, and getting paid to do it. And I'm thankful everyday that I managed to find these people.

In fact, I'm thankful everyday for everything I've got right now. My firends, my house, my job and my wonderful relationship. I'm thankful for everything that happened to me in the past, good and bad, because all of it brought me to where I am today - my mum, my family, my bad relationship, my cancer, my desire to move out of home, my need to be closer to people I wanted to be closer to, the train drivers that went on strike just before Christmas almost two years ago, my eighteen months working at the coffee shop, wanting to move out of dad's and into a place of my own, discovering and becoming close to new friends, wanting to move in with the friends I was closest to, going to Jay's Christmas/New Years party last year, and becoming dysatisfied enough with my job that I resigned. It all brought me to where I am now. Not all of it was nice, but looking back I've realised that it was all necessary. It has me appreciating life and what it deals out to you so much more.

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2005.10.31 Shiny

Everything turned all weird this last week. First, I managed to get my learners license again. This was an ordeal and a half because of my name. It's long and gets shortened, but the local RTA will only accept documents with my full name as identification. It took me over a week to get to extra papers together to get it, but I finally have it! And the same day, I got the brand new phone I've been trying to get for about 2 months. I was very happy.

Then the next day I woke up with my back out and I've been too sore to do any driving. Grrr...

Next thing that was actually weird, my mum calls me and says she wants to buy me something nice because she owes it to me. I figure she means a book or maybe something decorative for my house. Boy was I wrong... She insisted she pay off the rest of the bed I had on lay-by, which had over $1000 owing on it, then told me that she needed to buy me something else a paid for a whole new computer system for me, which was over $1500. I could barely believe it. She had me take her to the computer parts store I always go to and pick out all the best stuff I could to make a brandnew system, paid for it all, then took me back home so I could put it together. I was stunned. I think I still am.

Then, to make things even better, Alex went and bought me the book and two CDs I'd been looking at for a few weeks but hadn't really had the money to spend on them. I don't know what I've done to get this amazing bout of good luck, but it's really blowing me away. It feels like Christmas, only more special because it's not.

I've been getting more work as well which has been great because it's kept me busier and kept me at the computer a bit more which has had me posting at TD more often the last week or so. It feels good to be almost regular there again. And with us starting up the class there I'll be even more involved. I only wish we could get even more people more involved. The place still feels too quiet. *sigh*

In other news, I've been getting random text messages from Sam. That's been really weird because the last time I spoke to him we (or more he) broke off on pretty bad terms. It's been odd hearing from him again, particularly since he was the one that decided to re-connect. I was under the impression for a long time I'd never hear from him again. It's reassured me that burnt bridges can be rebuilt, though obviously never the same again, it's still a bridge again. Who knows, maybe we'll even be able to meet up for coffee sometime in the future and catch up properly. I'd be nice to see and old face again.

Alex and I have been discovering how well connected we both are. We're compatible on so many different levels it's scary and we're discovering new things everday. We're helping each other grow spiritually as well. As a project to do together we're going to learn several different languages, probably French and German first, then Japanese, then a few other European languages. We'll just see how we go. And we're planning a trip to the UK, Ireland and Europe as well, hopefully for late next year. I'm just hoping that I actually get to go on this trip. It's wonderfully reassuring to know we're both planning with and for each other that far ahead. And I have no doubts that we're going to do everything we plan to do together, even if it takes us the next 60 years. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it. ^_^

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2005.11.10 The Pitter Patter of Tiny Paws

My little kitty cat, Elaine Marly, had her first (and hopefully last) litter of kittens. She had four altogether, two white and two grey, which is funny because she's all black with not a speck of white on her. They looked like drowned rats.

I was a little worried when I realised that she was pregnant because she's still pretty young and I was worried she'd have trouble giving birth or feeding and looking after them. But she had a fast birth and while today she left them for a few hours, it was just to stretch and get a good meal into herself. She seems to be feeding pretty well too. The only real worry now is the weather we're getting at the moment. It's been insanely hot the last few days, and seems to be getting hotter each day. I'm hoping and praying that the kittens don't expire in the heat.

I almost don't want to be in my house at the moment. The people I live with seem to have forgotten how to clean. Apart from Alex and myself no-one else is doing dishes or even cleaning their own rubbish up from around themselves, and even Alex I sometimes have to ask to do simple things like put food packets in the bin, or put dirty dishes in the sink. It's weird. It's like living with all my siblings again, only worse because I know I'm living with adults who should know better. They keep creating mess and filth in the main living area of the house and then retreating to their rooms till someone else cleans it up. That's usually me because my work computer is in the main living area and I can't stand to work with all the mess and filth around the place. It's really irritating because I can't make rules the way I did with my siblings. Everyone I live with is a little older than me for starters so seem to think they know better, and everytime I say we need to make some house rules there's always "But it's not my fault!" from them, or crap about equal rights. It has me more than a little disgusted in my generation. Seriously, how do you deal with people who seem happy to create and live in filth shy of kicking them out on their arse, which I've considered several times over the last few weeks.

In better news, I think I'm going to start writing again. Nothing in particular really. Probably just short stories to start with to get a whole heap of ideas that I've had in writing. Then I might see how many, if any, of those ideas I can get working together to write something a little more substantial. Wo knows, I may end up with a novel, though I think it's more likely that I'll just have a collection of short stories instead. Either way, it's something to keep me occupied when I'm not coding. I'll probably post a few of them in F&B on TD when I've written up a few. It'll be good to write again I think. I haven't dome it in so long. In fact, I think the last story I wrote was Tears from the past, and that was a few years ago now. Hmmm.... I really let my last job get in the wat of far too many things that I used to enjoy.

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2005.11.25 Is that burning I smell coming from your pocket?

Gah! I hate the amount of money I end up having to spend this time of year. I'm probably going to end up spending $600-$700 on family members alone I've worked out. That's alot. And then there are friends. I think I'm going to end up doing little goodie bags for friends this year. Everyone will get a little sack or something and I'll label them with people's names and when I see something small that I think they'll like I'll add it to their sack. That sounds good. The only problem with that is that I always end up forgetting someone.

*sigh*

The last few days I was having my doubts about being made of the right stuff to be a programmer. I kept trying to work and find what I needed but I either couldn't find what I needed, or didn't understand what found. I'd almost given up hope of doing anything more to the task I'd been set when I decided to stay up all night last night to try and cram, and BAM! I was able to find a whole heap of the stuff I was looking for, understand it, and add it into my code. I've come to the conclusion that I truly am a night owl and function far better during moonlight hours than daylight. I was all revved to get to my meeting this morning to show them what I'd done. I didn't bother sleeping at all, got up there early, and then at 8:55am, I received a call to let me know that the 9:00am meeting would be moved to tomorrow because Stu's wife had given birth to twins and he wanted an extra day to just spend with them. Understandable, but it's the second time now that I've been told at literally the last minute our meeting has been cancelled when I could have been called or emailed the afternoon/evening before. Just a bit of a inconvenience. Bah.

In other news, while browsing in Myer earlier today I saw so many different things I wanted to buy myself it was insane. Heaps of clothes and shoes and bed linen and dinnerware and lots of other shinys. I think after the whole buying presents for other people thing is over I'm going to have to start setting aside a Myer Fund so I can start getting all the cool things I want from there. So many nice tops... and the most comfortable pair of shoes I've seen in a while. Now I just have to justify spending $100+ on single items of clothing... >_

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2005.12.03 404 Not Found

You know how every now and then something great will come along for you? It's prefect, it's great, it's everything you could have wanted and more. In fact, it seems too good to be true. And then a little further down the track you find out that it was, indeed, too good to be true.

Somehow I've upset some of the guys I work for. They want me to learn to program in Visual Basic 6. I'd far rather to learn Python or PHP (two other far more powerful programming languages), but the guys I work for are older and a little stubbourn so I have to learn VB6. I figure, "Fair enough. If that's what they want me coding in, I'll try to learn it". And I did try. I spent an awful lot of time on it, but just wasn't getting it because I wasn't being taught anything. I was given two huge books and told to create a fully working scientific calculator in VB6, then left to do it. I thought it probably wouldn't be too bad. After all, Bruce told me that if I had any problems I could email him and ask for help. Predictably, I ran into a few problems and emailed Bruce about them, and then waited for a reply. And waited. And waited. I finally recieved a reply from him at about 11.30pm (over 12 hours after I emailed him) telling me to put all programming on hold to find information on the new WinZip codecs. So I stopped programming and tried to find what they wanted. I didn't end up finding as much as they seemed to want during the few days they gave me, but I emailed what I had found to them on the due date. Less than an hour later Bruce replies with a link to exactly what he had wanted me to find saying he had found it in a few minutes after searchng for something entirely different.

I was kind of pissed off because I hadn't found it, but also because Bruce had sent me searching for completely different keywords. It didn't make any sense and made me feel bad that I hadn't found it. I felt even worse when I was told a few days later by Bobby that Bruce and Stuart were worried that I wasn't giving the job my all because I hadn't found the information that they had wanted and because they hadn't seen an progress on my calculator. I said I was having trouble programming because for the most part I had no idea what I was meant to be looking for in those books. Bobby's reply was that Bruce said I should probably be asking him more questions rather than wasting time trying to find all the answers myself. This made me furious. But, I went home and emailed Bruce some more questions and waited for a reply. And waited. And waited.

I finally got my reply, at about 11.30pm again, with the answers I needed, but with another message telling me that they want me to put all programming on hold and find information on the sourcecode for Windows Media Playe Surprise, surprise, I can't find anthing. Microsoft doesn't release that sort of thing to the public. They wouldn't make their money if they let everyone know their secrets. So now I'm really pissed off because it's really feeling like Bruce is trying to make a fool of me, and possibly create a reason to sack me. I don't know why, because he seemed really impressed with my work before this, but he's suddenly not as friendly toward me. It has me feeling really crappy because he has me feeling like I'm not puting in enough work when this last three days alone I've put in close to 35 hours trying to find this information that seems to be nowhere to be found. It's got me feeloing crappy enough that I'm considering handing in my resignation and finding another job. Which would be easy had it been any other time of the year, but everyone has already hired their Christmas help. *sigh*

---

In other, better news Sam, a friend of mine, brought me over a great Emily The Strange poster to thank me for feeding him everytime he's over our place. He loves my cooking so it's it's own reward to see his eyes light up when I offer him a plate when I'm serving dinner up to my housemates. It was so sweet and really brightened up my day. It even made me forget about work for a while.

---

But now I have to keep trying to find this bloody information. Like Microsoft is going to release the sourcecode to tell poeple how and where it loads it's files and what form the resource pointers take and whether contiguous memory required for the operation of the file. Gah! Why do I keep finding that I don't enjoy or are not suited to all the jobs I try? Maybe I should just go back to studying and spend the rest of my life a student on minimal government payments.

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2005.02.03 Dreams

So yesterday I ordered some books from En's bookshop. I had decided to have a browse to see what she sold in there and found 4 books I really wanted. It was kind of cool to be able to buy them from someone I know rather than a big bookstore chain like Borders.

Afterwards I fell asleep while doing some reading on my bed (it was a programming text book ) and had the strangest dream.

I was in En's bookshop. En was there behind the counter doing sales and paperwork, and Hart was there as well being helpful to customers that were browsing for books and looked lost. The bookshop was full of people. It was busy and bustling, but in that very quiet way that only a bookshop can be full and busy but quiet at the same time. There was a piano and it was playing Mozart's Elvira Madigan Piano Concerto, but no-one was actually sitting at it playing. I felt like someone was sitting there playing it, but I couldn't see them. Every now and then Hart would bring a cup of coffee to En. Lumers came in and said hello and gave the piano a pat then started sorting through a box of books that was sitting at the bottom of a bookshelf and started sorting through them and putting them on the right shelves. The whole place had a very warm and friendly atmosphere about it, and En, Hart, Lumers and myself were all wearing scarves. It was how we stood out from everyone else.

I went out and down the road a bit to a place that was selling white chocolate chip and macadamia cookies and bought a couple of boxes to bring back to give to En, Hart and Lumers. On queue all the people that were in the shop finished up with what they were doing, bought the books they wanted and all went home, happy and looking eagar to read their new books. I very quickly grew dark outside and we all sat around making hot chocolate and eating cookies. Then there was a knock on the door and it was Alex, who was also wearing a scarf and his fedora and he had bought chinese takeout so we sat around eating chinese, playing Killer Bunnies and just talking and having fun. The piano had stopped playing, but I didn't know when.

The Lumers had to go home. A car had pulled up out the front to pick her up and taker her home safely. We all cleaned up and En and Hart had to go to bed, so I went and tucked them into their bed that was actually stacks of blankets on the floor the lay on and blankets and a doona to cover them and keep them warm. It looked really cosy and comfortable though. For some reason I tucked En and Hart in and gave them each a kiss on the forehead. It felt like the right thing to do.

Then I woke up.

It was a really nice dream and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I only hope that it won't be too long before I can visit En and meet her, Hart and the Haunted Bookshop.

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2006.02.20 The Tower

All the plans for sending me to college for work fell through. When I went to enroll the course I wanted to do didn't look like it was going to run, but they were attempting to get enough names for it anyway. My other option was to take another course which was similar but actually had alot of other things which would have been useful for my job. Instead, my boss decided to wait to see if they would get enough names for the course they originally wanted to put me in, after he was told it was very unlikely to run.

Near the end of the second and last day of enrollment they had only managed to get another 2-3 names put down, so the course just flat wasn't going to be running. However, the other course I could have gotten into the day before was already full and all I could do was put my name down and hope someone dropped out in the first couple of weeks. It was a popular course because it was the first course at this college to teach programming by teaching how to make games and give people the skills to get into the computer games industry, so no-one dropped out. On top of that, my boss told me last week that even if they do end up contacting me I'm to say I'm no-longer interested. My boss believes that the college stuffed us around too much, when it was actually him that stuffed the college and me around.

So basically I'm not going to college this year. I'm so amazingly disappointed and pissed off at the moment that I don't know what to do now. I'd been looking forward to going back to study for over three months and was all geared up for it. I was excited. Now it's all come tumbling down, like the Tower (it's a tarot card reference for anyone wondering).

I'm not sure what I'll do now. I'm not sure I want to stay with my current employer now, but I need to stay there for at least another couple of months until I get a little more financially stable again. I had the cats desexed this week, which cost about $200 more than I expected, and I need to get the money together to move house on the 1st of March. Alex lost his job a little over a month ago, so decided to go back to study because the government provideds welfare for full-time students, but that hasn't come through yet either. Were just hoping it comes through sometime this week, because otherwise I'm going to have trouble with the bills that will be coming in the week we've moved out.

Actually, I think it may be time for a moving sale. I keep looking around and seeing all sorts of things that I don't use or need anymore. Clothes, books, trinkets... And I could probably make a couple of hundred if I just sold it all. I might start sorting through things as I pack and setting aside all the things I can get rid of that someone else might want.

I have to say, if I didn't have Alex beside me doing silly things and making a fool of himself just to make me smile, and listening to me when I need to talk for a change, I don't know what I'd be doing right now. He really has become my pillar this last year and I love him so much for it. Most of all I know he loves me and would do anything in the world to see me smile. He's become the reason I get up in the morning, and the reason I stay up this late at night doing work. For me, there's nothing more comforting now than haivng his arms around me, or having him kiss my forehead when I'm buried in something to remind me he's still there when I need him. I only hope I give him as much in return.

For now, I need to do some work, because Bobby has forgotten that he needed to give me work again, and Bruce was due back this weekend I believe. I can tell I'm going to get into trouble for not doing enough work, but I think it's also about time they heard that I'm really upset that I'm going to college as they had been telling me I would for over three months. I'm just getting sick of shutting up and putting up with things I'm not happy with. At least I have Alex's steady breathing just behind me while he sleeps to remind me why I do.

[Nierme ni Sidhe]

2006.05.07 Fly Away

I did some research into the whole mandatory military service in Switzerland thing. It seems that it's only mandatory for men, and that women can volunteer. It's also only about 33% that actually complete the full term due to exemptions. I'd be exempt because I need my thyroid medication and it's usually too much trouble for them to make sure I have it available at all times. So I don't really need to worry about it.

This has me actually really wanting to get my Swiss passport and just take off for Europe and the UK for while. If I'm living and working Switzerland all education and healthcare is free because they actually put their tax money where it's needed. It would be an opportunity to learn German too. I could actually afford to work part time and study full-time and be travelling and experiencing the world at the same time (well, maybe not because I don't yet know how easy it is to get into universities over there, but it's something I'm definately going to look into). I could holiday in Prag, Venice, Paris, London, or anywhere else in the UK and Europe and work while doing it and not worry about my visa running out because I wouldn't need one.

The Consulate General of Switzerland is in Bondi Junction too, near the train station. The actually Embassy is in Canberra, but I can start my enquiries with the Consulate. My first step is getting hold of dad and Uncle Joe to make sure I'm actually on the family register, and from there I can start getting things together for my Swiss passport and dual citizenship. And if some of the things Bruce has been talking about end up coming to fruition I could be getting sent over the UK to work for a few years anyway. Alex could come too because he already has his British passport and citizenship and lots of family over there too.

I'm starting to get really excited at the prospect of possibly moving overseas for a while. The more I hear about stupid things like Biometric cards and the new employment laws getting push through over here the less I want to live here anymore, and while I know that in many respects the UK is just as bad, it will be somewhere new for a while. I've always wanted to go there and being able to live and work there for a while, not just visit for a few weeks has actually put me in a good mood and made me realise that things might not turn out to be as screwed up and depressing as I was thinking yesterday and this last month or so. I have something big and tangible to reach for again and it feels great.