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[Tasia]

*sigh* I've been going to the library almost everyday to go online, insanely happy and anticipant, waiting for something wonderful to happen...and it hasn't. I wonder what I'm expecting. Maybe it comes from a dream I don't remember.

I've been tearing my hair out with these stupid AOL and cable company representatives. I swear, I must've been on the phone for a total of twenty hours, and still no internet in my home. Yarg.

I am really glad the Fluffies are here, although I doubt I'll be taking much part in them. I would love nothing more than to help out with the Yearbooks, as I've been looking forward to them ever since I read them. It's such a cool concept. ;D

I've got a billion things going on, like Spanish Honor Society, Drama Club, school, NJHS, soccer...yarg. Again.

I'm really annoyed with my Drama teacher. she's such a witch. She cast people very poorly, and gave good parts to people who didn't deserve them. My dear friend [JeBus] deserved a much better part than the one she got. She's got a hilariously sarcastic voice, and a bunch of talent. Not to mention her background knowlegde of theatre, thanks to her Drama-nut sister who's a senior in highschool. I'm fuming.

And yet...everyday I wait for something on TD. The nomination ballot was a nice surprize, but not quite what I was looking for. Perhaps it's just a letter I want. Some sign of human contact away from the constant redundancy of my life in it's current state. Mum's having breakdowns ever which-where, because the kids she teaches are rowdy and we're living out of my grandparent's house because they're away and we have no air conditioning. And then the storm damage, and the possibility of building a new house, and the bills from Sophie's vet visits...no wonder. Everything's hectic. I've been horribly forgetful, which I like to blame on my having to wake up early and immediately go to our sweltering house to get dressed and wait for the bus. But as much as I'd like to, I can't hide from the fact that I'm a very irresponsible little brat.

So, in one word, Tasia's life: YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGG!

Thank you.

[Tasia]

Fall is here, fall is here, its the most wonderful time of year, Sports are in and summer's out, no hurricanes or fires or drought, Autumn's come so don't be shy, Fall is in the earth and sky!

Wow, how pathetic. Oh, well. I made it up in all of about two seconds. Yeeee! ;D Yesterday morning, it was 50 degrees outside. For me, that was bliss. I had a soccer game at 8am and I can't tell you how lovely it was to run in the chill, dry air. Even though I played goalie for two quarters. I'm a good goalie.

Another great thing about fall is the lack of humidity. Florida is such a damp, uncomfortable place.

Other things to add to my "Yeeeeee!" list: Nialle returned my pm, and I hadn't heard from hir in ages, The Fluffy ballots are out, I'm getting to help out with the Yearbooks, I got to see my Christmas present (shhhh, don't tell ) And life, for the mo, is good.

How are you? Nobody's written here for a while. Do tell me, how have y'all been?

[Hermoine]

*the annoying one enters*
I'm glad to hear everything's all right for you Tasia!

Yeah humidity is terrible! In my house it is often like 70% or even more!

My life is pretty much confused at the moment.

Oh and since you mentioned the Fluffies, well done on your nominations Fan.

[Tasia]

Thanks herm. You as well.

Last night, we won.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D

My soccer team is so awesome. Three of the girls I've known since we were in diapers, and another one is my best friend, [JeBus]. All of the girls are super nice, and I've made friends with all of them. (unlike last year....*shudders*) We have so much fun. But anyway, we had won 6 games and lost one game. Our last game, last night, was against the one team we lost to, which was undefeated. If we won, we ties them for first. If we lost, we came in second. And we WON!!! YEEEE!!!! ;D

Sorry. I'm a very competitive person, believe it or not. It was awesome.

I'll a bit peeved right now, because every morning my mum takes a shower, and I can hear it in my room. It wakes me up every morning. But this morning, she took an especially early one. So nyeh.

...........

...........Yay!

[KoNeko]

*grins* Congrats on winning your game, Fan! I know what it feels like when you finish a game and you know you've won and everyone's jumping up and down in a big sweaty heap. So yeah. I share your exhiliration.

[Tasia]

Thanks, KoNekopuff.


T.G.I.F.

[Tasia]

Ok, so, today one of my friends told me he was bi. Which is totally cool, of course, but, still. It was just a little odd. I've always kind of figured he was, because he's got a feminine voice and messes around with our guy friends, but actually hearing it come out of his mouth was a surprize. It's all good, though. I'd imagine he feels better, getting it off his chest.

Otherwise, it's just been another boring monday. Peace out.

[Tasia]

Tonight was the soccer awards ceremony. Fun fun. After a lot of screaming, running, jumping around, and signing each other's jerseys, we retired to a pizza place, where we played video games and stuffed ourselves with pizza. Than a parent brought out cake and we held a "Be the first one to finish eating your cake without using your hands" contest. Soon after followed a cake fight, which involved much smearing of icing and revenge.

I had a great time. But I am feeling rather guilty, beacause a) I played a virtual game where you shoot deer, and I admit, it was fun. and b) I have four tests tomorrow. Teachers shouldn't be allowed to pile them up like that. Well, wish me luck.

O, weekend, where art thou?How often I long for your sweet release.

[En Sylvan]

I know exactly how you feel about that expecting-something feeling. I get it too. Like, it made sense when I was on the plane to Ireland, but it doesn't always - sometimes it hits me one afternoon, just like the other five afternoons I work every week, and I can't shake it, and if nothing big happens, I feel almost forced to go for a walk or to a coffee shop or something, so that whatever is looking to happen to me can find me... or something. I bet that would sound weird to most people, but I bet you understand.

Something I have noticed - I get it more frequently and a lot more profoundly if I've been reading really good books, or watching good films, or have had a good conversation. Only then, it feels more like... being hungry in my soul. When it just hits me at random, it feels more like... a geis. Something supernaturally inevitable. Does that make sense?

[Tasia]

En said:

I know exactly how you feel about that expecting-something feeling. I get it too. Like, it made sense when I was on the plane to Ireland, but it doesn't always - sometimes it hits me one afternoon, just like the other five afternoons I work every week, and I can't shake it, and if nothing big happens, I feel almost forced to go for a walk or to a coffee shop or something, so that whatever is looking to happen to me can find me... or something. I bet that would sound weird to most people, but I bet you understand.

That's exactly it. It's really frustrating, and it just won't leave you alone. Like when you're trying to fall asleep and you keep thinking about what you have to do tomorrow, or, as silly as this may sound, how you'll have to go to the bathroom in an hour. I always end up getting up to do it, no matter how trivial.

Did I mention that I love you? 'Cause I do. ;D

[Tasia]

Alright, I just wrote this...thing. I'm sure it's no masterpiece, but....perhaps you'd like to read it.

I wrote it as a song....sorta. So it may sound weird. But here goes:

[Tittle to be inserted later]

Nothing's wrong with me
This is how I always laugh
Naturally
I still dance for you

You would be the first to know
If I were hurting
Let it go
Nothing's on my mind

I promise I'll come down
Soon as the world stops spinning

This simple state you find me in
Doesn't mean I'm not your friend
Little sin
I don't need you up my ass

You say you're always there for me
But "there"'s no place I wanna be
Can't you see
I'm not your angel anymore

I may yet come down
Soon as the world stops spinning

Now there's no one to blame
As I sit alone again
Call your name
Will you be around?

A light shine out and now I see
That realization's setting in
Finally
And "there"'s the place I wanna be

I'm coming back down
Today the world stopped spinning

And you...

[En Sylvan]

Tasia m’dear, this is really quite good! May I drop a few words about it? It does definitely have the feel of a song, and I like that about it. Wish I could hear the tune.

I love how the word ‘naturally’ forms a pivot in the first verse, so that it could either mean that you laugh naturally or “Naturally, / I still dance for you.” And the phrase “’there’s’ no place I wanna be” manages to be packed with irony, just by being a common phrase turned on its head. Go you.

If there’s one jarring note in this song, it’s the sudden appearance of the word ‘ass.’ It doesn’t fit with the sounds you use in the rest, and while that can be useful at times, I’m also not clear on what your speaker means here. I mean, the rest of the phrases fit pretty smoothly; we get an impression of what the other person is saying to your speaker; but this phrase makes it unclear what the other person is doing. Being nosy? Nagging? Being cruel? I’m left uncertain. Is there some other phrase you could use to capture why the angel is rebelling?

Natch, I’m terribly curious what “and you….” leads to. And you what? Is the other person there, as s/he promised? What happens to the speaker? If your intent is to leave us wishing we knew, it worked – and I like the idea of you leaving us there. This is a piece about the speaker’s pulling away and returning to someone, and so what the other person does on the speaker’s return is really none of our beeswax. (But I still think it could be clearer why the speaker pulled away, without breaking the flow of the poem.)

Curious, that the first and third lines of the four-line verses rhyme. It seems right for this piece, but it does change the feel of it – no Emily Dickinson hymn-meter here; the unusual rhyme scheme feels rather rebellious while maintaining its lyric quality; and then you rhyme ‘down’ from the two couplets there with ‘around,’ and ‘in’ forms a slant rhyme through ‘spINning’ – like a tentative return to the expected, or at least enough of a return to seem – what’s the word I want? Like your speaker is reaching out in the known tongue, having failed to communicate in her own – it’s sad, and yet it isn’t, because instead of doing exactly what’s expected (rhyming second and fourth lines), she’s finding another way to do what makes sense (continuing to rhyme first and third, and allowing the second and fourth lines to rhyme with something else). Does that make sense?

Anyway, I dig it. Although I may be sorely tempted to write the other person’s poem, just for the sake of being contrary, once I understand that one bit

[Tasia]

Ya. I used that line to convey the speaker's disress at leading what she consideres to be an overprotected life. That person always looking out for her has become her worst enemy. The end is definitely meant to be a cliff hanger. I want whoever's reading it to decide for themselves what happened.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


So I've been weird and not here lately. Life's been busy in short spurts; everything seems to happen on Wednesdays. But I'm ok. Nothing much else is going on. Same, boring life.

[Tasia]

Death-By-Ritz Cookies:

Materials: Dark chocolate bars, plain ritz crackers, creamy peanut butter

Instructions: Smooth creamy peanut butter over a Ritz cracker generously. Cover with another Ritz cracker, making a sandwitch. Melt dark chocolate. Carefully dunk Ritz-sandwitch in chocolate. After fully submerged, remove and place on a cookie pan. Repeat as desired. Refridgerate cookies until chocolate has solidified and become quite cold. Serve.

I swear, it's like my Grandmother wants me to be obese.

[Tasia]

"Today's the Macy's Day Parade
the night of the living dead is on its way
with a credit report for duty call
it's a lifetime guarantee
stuffed in a coffin 10% more free
Red light special at the mausoleum

Give me something that I need
satisfaction guaranteed to you
what's the consolation prize?
economy sized dreams of hope

when I was a kid I thought
I wanted all the things that I haven't got
oh. I learned the hardest way
Then I realized what it took
To tell the difference between
thieves and crooks
A lesson learned to me and you

Give me something that I need
Satisfaction guaranteed
Because I'm thinking about
a brand new hope
the one I've never known
cause now I know
it's all that I wanted

what's the consolation prize?
economy sized dreams of hope
Give me something that I need
Satisfaction guaranteed
Because I'm thinking about
a brand new hope
the one I've never known
and where it goes
and I'm thinking about
the only road
the one I've never known
and where it goes

Because I'm thinking about
a brand new hope
the one I've never known
cause now I know
it's all that I wanted"

~Macy's Day Parade, by Green Day

Spending Thanksgiving with my family isn't as bad as I'm used to it being. I'm having a pretty good time. I whooped my family's butts the other night at Texas Hold'em. ;D

But last night, on my cousin Jacki's birthday, her brother came up and put his arm around her. A simple gesture, but for some reason it hit me hard. I don't have that kind of security. I love my friends dearly, but as wonderful as they can be, I'm never going to have a sibling looking out for me, or someone to punch or hug or watch T.V. on Sundays with. I dunno.