Tasia
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Will she ever find her way?
Posts: 107
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Post by Tasia on Jul 18, 2004 14:08:31 GMT -5
"Bite my lip and close my eyes Take me away to paradise" -Longview, by Green Day Hello, my lovelies. As hesitant as I have been to start a journal, I have decided to create one anyway. This one, in fact. Hope y'all don't mind...You are all, of course, welcome to respond and I look forward to cherishing your comments and insightful thoughts. Ehem. As dull as my life may be, I'll try to keep you posted on what's up. If I have recently submitted to a state of sloth-hood, I may just write a movie or song review. Whatever. July...18th, is it? Right. I'm moving tomorrow, which means my compu will be out of order for a few days. Monday-related songs keep running through my head, i.e. "Monday, Monday" (The Mammas and the Pappas) "Manic Monday" (The Bangles), etc. It's been hectic and tedious, but it'll all be over soon. Yay. Monday is also the day Howard Stern comes to OROCK, which happens to be my favorite radio station. I've got nothing against the guy, having never bothered to listen to his show, but now OROCK mornings are devoted to him. Boo hoo. Oh, well...they've been playing "Megalomaniac" and "Talk Shows On Mute" nearly three times a day now. Maybe they'll stop. They also play "Float On" by Modest Mouse alot, but that's ok because I love songs with happy/optimistic messages. I played with my dog alot yesterday. Nothing much else to report...except for the fact that I am insanely proud of the post I made in the TD thread "TrapDoor2-The Musical" Read it if you fancy a laugh at my pathetic attempts to mess with a Monty Python song. Anway, see y'all. "We both got fired on exactly the same day But we'll float on good news is on the way" -Float On, by Modest Mouse
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Post by En Sylvan on Jul 19, 2004 16:25:45 GMT -5
Yay! ;D I get curious about what's going on in your world.
If you get bored of writing about events (or lack thereof), you could just talk about lyrics, or writing poetry. Those are my favourite of your posts, if I have favourites. Not only do you have awesome taste, you usually notice something in the words that I hadn't before, and I love it when you make me think like that But that's me being blue-selfish. I'm just excited that you have a journal here now!
Blue love! N
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Post by KoNeko on Jul 19, 2004 23:50:09 GMT -5
*waves* Hey Fan! Good to see you around this neck of the woods! I'm actually curious as to what you're like IRL, so maybe I can have a peekie? Hope you don't mind if I barrage you with observations and comments every now and then. *grins* Wowee, it looks like there's a new generation of Glenmorians coming in, eh Nialle?
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Post by D on Jul 20, 2004 7:39:32 GMT -5
Yay! Nice to see you in here! I've been curious about you too. You always seem to demonstrate a certain wisdom that I really enjoy reading from
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moira
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Posts: 480
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Post by moira on Jul 20, 2004 8:07:31 GMT -5
*hugs* Welcome aboard Fan! I'm glad you started a journal here:) Have you ever heard the soundtrack from the broadway musical called Aida? I've never seen the play myself, but my friend has the music, and I absolutely love it. I've had it for a good year or so now, but the past couple weeks the songs have been running through my head like crazy. Oh, and I love Green Day's "basket case" song. That one's a good one, too:)
*edit* Hmm, I just realized that both types of music I listed are completely different from each other, and though I've gone through to edit this to fix it and make a paragraph separation between the two, I am instead just telling you about my observation. *shrug* ;D
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Tasia
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Will she ever find her way?
Posts: 107
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Post by Tasia on Jul 21, 2004 12:06:53 GMT -5
"First they tell you you can't sleep alone in a strange place Then they tell you you can't sleep with somebody else" -My Life, by Billy Joel Yay! I was so happy to see responses made to my journal. You guys are the best. And, thanks to the fact that it only took the cable company two days to figure out they were supposed to stop by when we told them we'd be here, I'm back online! Whoot! *snark* Wisdom? *snickers* July 21st Ok, about the above mentioned song....my friends, I have found the solution! Sleep with a stuffie. ;D The new house is kind of funny, in that it's an old new house. Much smaller than our old house, as far as living space is concerned. But the yard is nearly three times the size. Huzzah for old oak trees! *snicker* And we've got this spectacular view of the river in the front. Last night I watched a movie, as we had no cable ( ). Amadeus, to be precise. My god, did ever a movie go from cheerfully interesting to depressingly sad such as this? It made me quite upset...took me a while to fall asleep. I was positively smitten with Motzart's laugh, and loved how he conducted his first opera for the Emporer, the one in the harem. He seemed so...in love with life. But things turned ugly once his father came, and uglier when his father died. I was near tears at the end, not only for him (as he had become a quite insane alchohalic/drug addict and yet still managed to write magnificent music) but also for the story-teller. He's the real victim, I suppose. But the scene at the graveyard....I dunno...sad movie. Worth seeing, though. Absolutely fabulous acting jobs. I got a really beautiful tarot deck on...Monday, I believe it was. (I tend to lose track of days during the summer. Speaking of which, I have a piano lesson today that I need to practise for. Talk about sloth-hood. ) Anyway, it's a fey deck. The art is gorgeous and deep. Now, as I abruptly end my second entry... Loving you all! "It's a beautiful day Don't let it get away" -Beautiful Day, by U2
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Post by Calavera Diablos on Jul 21, 2004 13:28:14 GMT -5
*snort* Mozart's laugh is awesome. I enjoyed the film alot (got it on dvd, finally) and my highschool actually did it as a play. I got to see my friend Jake run around in a big white mumu as Salieri.
Do you collect Tarot decks? It's become a bit of an obsession with me.
Good luck with your piano lessons and welcome.
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Tasia
Resident
Will she ever find her way?
Posts: 107
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Post by Tasia on Jul 22, 2004 10:47:40 GMT -5
"'Fools' said I 'You do not know Silence like a cancer grows'" -Sound of Silence, by P. Simon and A. Garfunkel Actually, this is my first deck. I've always been quite interested, and have read about Tarot, but had never actually aquired a deck until Monday. You'll have to tell me about your favorite decks and what spreads you like to use. Thanks so much for the welcome, I can't wait to get to know some of y'all better. July 22nd The exciting life of Tasia, part one Today I dug dirt for two hours under the hot Florida sun. It was not an expirience I'd like to relive, but guess what? I get to do it again tomorrow! Our 'new' front yard needed soil for all the neat trees and whatnot we would like to plant, so I get to spread out three piles of the stuff, each about 4 feet tall and 6 feet long. Whoo-hoo. My piano teacher is so cool. She thinks like I do...you would love her, En. We're always talking about this or that while I'm playing, about silly things like word association and not so silly things, like the movie King Arthur, or Motzart, or castles. I really, really need to sit myself down and write something. I haven't written in weeks. But whenever I try to compose a poem of some sort, the same simple, pretty song from the movie Babe keeps running through my head, blocking out all other words and ideas. "If I had words to make a day for you I'd sing you a morning golden and true. I'd make this day last for all time, Then give you a night deep with moonshine." I worked it out on my keyboard, it's fairly easy. Although I wish I could decide what to do with the chords...it sounds alright, but there's two places where I can't figure out if the A chord sound right or not...oh well. You know, I'd really love to start writing a story for my character, Fantasia. But as I haven't even the slightest clue where to begin with that, I'd settle for any inspiration, even if for the shortest poem. Am open to suggestions. "And no one's getting fat, Except Mama Cass" -Creeque Alley, by the Mamas and the Popas
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Post by D on Jul 22, 2004 15:26:18 GMT -5
Well, if you know it's definitely an A chord, you're already there I'm a firm believer that when you're learning to play someone else's piece, it's good to play it a little different - put your own spin on the music, as it were. A popular song from the early nineties, "Silent Lucidity", is one of the first I learned to play on guitar in full from beginning to end. I still like to play it because it's a nice, relaxing song to begin a session with. Anyway, I now finger the song completely different than the original guitarists do because it feels and sounds good to me. I still play the same basic notes. I just play them my way now. I guess what I'm saying is that you can still have fun playing a song even if you aren't playing it exactly the same as the original artist.
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Post by Calavera Diablos on Jul 23, 2004 13:49:51 GMT -5
Well, it may stink for the first few days, but after you get everything situated in the yard with the trees, looking at your handiwork feels great. I don't know, working with your hands on your own land kind of gives you a sense of great accomplishment and pride. Or that could just be me since I was raised by farmers. Good luck with the Piano lessons! Piano and Pipe organ are really fun instruments. I'll have to make a list about the tarot decks and spreads later. There was one Native American spirit paths deck that listed about 30 different spreads...
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Tasia
Resident
Will she ever find her way?
Posts: 107
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Post by Tasia on Jul 23, 2004 17:17:18 GMT -5
"And I don't want the world to see me, Cause I don't think that they'd understand"
-Iris Goo Goo Dolls
July 23, I think
I love my dad, I really do. He's wonderful, and I've always been alot closer to him than my mum. When I was little, he was perfect. Strong, and solid. Always steady and always ready with a hug. As I grew older I learned that he wasn't perfect, but he was pretty darn close. He was still my dad. Always there.
A year ago, I'd imagine, I walked outside looking for him. I found he had been smoking, something that my dad never did. I was shocked and scared. My mum was out, so I cried in my dad's arms for a while. He told me he'd stop, and he loved me, and not to tell mom because she already knew and would be really man and might leave him. I sobbed a bit more and nodded. A few months later, the exact same thing happened. I told him to please, please stop, because I loved him and he had promised me. He told me he would, and that he loved me. Once more, he pleaded for me not to tell mom. I cried some more but didn't tell. I told him I wouldn'tkeep his secret if I caught him again, though. I was watching the vision of my perfect, strong dad crumbling away.
Tonight, I found him again. I cried some more, and he hugged me, and promised he'd stop. It's getting harder not to tell. I so want him to stop, because I love him and don't think I could live without him. I'm so afraid...
I just need you guys to be here for me tonight. You're the only ones I can tell. It's so hard not to cry...if I did, mom would know...
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moira
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Post by moira on Jul 23, 2004 17:45:08 GMT -5
*hugs* Oh sweety, I am so sorry to hear about that. What a terrible burden to carry. He shouldn't be asking you to keep something like that from your mum. It's not easy to keep that kind of a secret for so long. Oh dear, I wish I knew what to say, other than my older brother started up smoking at one point, and I absolutely hated it. One time he was over at my parent's house and he went out for a smoke, and I hated watching him through the windows. It was our house, and I got up the nerve to go outside to tell him to put it out, but I never ended up saying the words. Instead, my brother just ended up sort of venting to me. We've only had about two or three talks in which he's let me into the personal details of his life. He eventually stopped, though. And I really hope that your dad will too. It's a nasty habit to cut off completely on. I wish I knew what words to say to help you out. I wish I had a store of advice in my head to give to you. But I'm here for you. I care about ya, girl. *hugs again*
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Post by En Sylvan on Jul 23, 2004 19:40:50 GMT -5
Oh, honey. I wish you weren't stuck in the middle on this one. That's so unfair to you.
Can you talk to him about it at all? Like, at least ask him why your mum is so against it? I just can't imagine someone leaving a marriage over smoking, but I guess it's probably happened. Though I would bet that smoking wouldn't be the only thing wrong then.
The trouble with smoking is that it's a hard, bad addiction. My mum, for example, quit several years ago, but she still admits to missing it. Our old housekeeper should have quit aeons ago for health reasons, and she hasn't. If your da has been smoking for a long time, and he's willing to hide to do it, he's got an addiction like that. And he'll have to get to where he wants to quit before it will happen, because it's just way too easy to buy another pack and start again.
You, m'dear, are going to have to get to where you realise that he can adore you absolutely and still not want to quit, even if you want him to. Whatever you do, don't start worrying that it's your fault somehow, k? Because this is between him and the cigarettes - if he's going to quit, and it sounds like he should for family reasons at least, he'll have to decide to do it, and it'll probably involve going back to why he smokes in the first place, and that probably doesn't have anything at all to do with you.
I guess... the only time I've seen really-addicted smokers quit is when they've gotten too ill to smoke, or when they have a good reason to quit. Some people just up and stop because they're tired of how it makes them feel; and those ones stay quit. The other thing I've seen work is when one or two smokers in a relationship of some kind help each other quit by being open about it with each other and talking through the cravings and such. I would really hate to see you pick up one end of that kind of yoke, though. You don't need that. So I guess I wish your da would talk to your mum.
Either way, let him know you don't like having to keep the secret. He needs to know how much it's bothering you.
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Post by D on Jul 23, 2004 23:43:56 GMT -5
I don't have any more advice than what Moira and En have already said, but just know we're all here for you!
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Post by KoNeko on Jul 23, 2004 23:44:01 GMT -5
*huggles* Oh Fan. You know what, I'm guessing that your mum and dad have already covered this ground about his smoking a long time ago, and she didn't like what he was doing etc., which is why he is smoking in secret now... but that doesn't mean that you have to be privy to his secret. I totally agree with En that it's unfair to burden you with something like this. But it seems that whatever it is that is driving him to smoke is something that is beyond your control, and it is something that your dad will have to deal with himself. (I'm curious as to why the threat of your mum leaving him isn't sufficient for him to quit, but I don't know.)
I'm sure you could help him though. I bet he wants to quit but just can't get around to it. Talk to him, find out when this happened and why he is doing it and most importantly, how you feel about it and how he is hurting you by his smoking. Let him know that you love him and really want him to stop.
I wish I had something more helpful to say. I hope it works out *hugs*
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